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"The thing that is really hard, and really
amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming
yourself." - Anna Quindlen
Do you struggle with
perfectionism? I do. But, over the past few months I’ve had a real
breakthrough in my personal and professional life when I began to do the hard
work on the inside.
I realized that my pursuit
of perfection is actually a mask for fear.
It has nothing to do with striving for excellence. It has everything to
do with avoiding public embarrassment.
The key is identifying and
changing course at the line that crosses over from excellence into the
paralysis of perfection.
So, what things do we do as women to sabotage
The top 3 are automatic
behaviors that come from cultural stereotyping.
It’s just what we accept and do without thinking. We spend a lot of our lives validating
other’s opinions and discrediting our own.
First, consider the Good
Girl Syndrome. How do you reply to a compliment? Do you credit "luck" or
downplay it with doubt? Yes, me too. This one took me a long time to overcome.
TIP: Instead, accept the compliment with a smile,
direct eye contact and "Thank you!" This way you have shown gratitude to the
giver of the compliment, while showing your self-confidence…with just two
Another roadblock, the Imposter Syndrome is common among
high achievers and again is related to perfectionism. We have a lot of company with gutsy women who
have admitted it – Serena Williams, Tina
Fey, Brené Brown, Sheryl Sandberg and probably someone you have stood next to sometime
this past week.
in mind that if you are a first-generation gender, cultural or racial minority
in college or career, it’s even more common. Remind yourself of the strengths,
skills and hard work it took to get you where you are today. Celebrate them. These are your core values…the
foundation of success.
successful women in the news or in our life with comments about hair/fashion
has everything to do with external appearance and absolutely nothing to do with
the title, position or honor she has earned. We are better than this.
TIP: Let’s examine our own thoughts and behaviors
first. Let’s raise our awareness of gender-specific putdowns. Save the use of
"perfection" to describe a stunning sunset, a triple chocolate cake or my
favorite, the beaming smile that radiates from the face of a happy child!
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